It’s possible to rewrite your past? Absolutely. Here’s How.

Can we take a past traumatic event and retell the story to surrender the trauma, learn the lessons, and move on?

Absolutely, it is possible.

Here’s my story of how I did it, hopefully with some insights that can benefit you on your journey as well:

I had a crappy childhood. My mom ditched my dad when I was 1 and left us both. She returned when I was 4 with the cops and took me away to go live with her.

So, I lived with her for most of my childhood and suffered under a parent who was often suicidally depressed, drunk, or both. I managed when she was single because she was rarely there, and I raised myself (and there’s a gift in there because it planted entrepreneurial seeds in me).

But when she got married for the third time, we moved to Holland, and that’s when things got really bad for me.

They fought a lot. He was as psychologically messed up as she was, but since I was a kid and he was an adult man, this guy genuinely scared me. He wasn’t outright violent most of the time, but there was this crazy, unhinged thing about him that kept me constantly on edge when I was at home. That time period in Holland, I later identified as an adult, was the time when I was sheared, totally damaged, and disconnected from my purpose.

I am a storyteller and an artist, and I could not function as either. I developed a creative block that persisted into my 20s. Whenever I tried to create, I was so overwhelmed with my insecurities, feelings of shame, suicidal depression, and intense anxiety that I couldn’t continue.

Like many creative people with trauma like mine, we inevitably drift into some sort of creative path, but it’s a hollow version of our true work, our true purpose. This is called a shadow career.

Years later, I began my shadow career phase, working in design. It was a stand-in for my true work, and the big key difference is that I could functionally do the work without the emotional pain that surfaced whenever I tried to do my actual purpose and create stories and characters.

And I did this work for many years.

So many years passed, in fact, that I totally forgot what I was supposed to do, that I was supposed to tell stories.

All memory of my purpose vanished into my past like a dream, and my life continued.

But deep down, I knew something was off, something just wasn’t right. It’s a nagging feeling that won’t go away, and no matter how many distractions I threw at it—food, travel, sex, partying, drugs, video games, and money—I still had an emptiness that couldn’t be filled.

It’s almost a cliché, but this was my lived experience for many years.

On one specific occasion, I asked God sincerely, “What is my purpose?” Seconds later, my wife came home carrying the Lord of the Rings Trilogy she fetched while enjoying the sunshine and shopping.

In an instant, I remembered.

I just knew.

That jolted me back and unlocked a door that had been closed for a decade or more.

I could feel the richness and fullness of life that doing my purpose was offering. It was like this pulse of life radiating through the door I was being invited to step through.

This work became my focus from that time forward.

So how do you take a traumatic moment in the past that decoupled you from your life’s work and heal it so you can functionally do your purposeful work?

Recently, I have been taking time regularly to look into the most painful period in my life and to abide in the memories and emotions that I instinctively recoil from.

I do the complete opposite of what I instinctively want to do, which is to run far away from those painful, repressed emotions.

So I sit here, in the painful memories, in meditation, visualizing the home I lived in as a child in Holland and experiencing the scenarios as they play out.

I observe my emotional state and do not judge it. I experience it fully and let all the emotions have the chance to be expressed.

It’s painful and it’s rough at first, but that pain diminishes, and more memories arise. I observe these memories and do not judge them either.

The key here I want to impress upon you is that there are moments in your past story that you have gotten stuck in, and you need to correctly identify them, to know precisely where and when the trauma occurred, and you must go back there and experience that place until it holds no more of your attention and emotions in it.

Personally, I have come to understand so much about that difficult time, and I choose to keep going back there until there is no more healing to be done.

I was young and not in control of my life, so that was external trauma that was inflicted upon me.

I have chosen now to fully accept and take full authorship of my experience there and to write it how I want it to be.

It’s not about being hard, stoic, and “manning up.” It’s the opposite, being open, fluid, and willing to look directly at the darkness and ascend it.

You do not transcend it; that kind of thought can become a coping mechanism, and it’s a common trap many spiritually aware men fall into. You ascend and raise yourself above the experience, letting your attachments go to it, to a level where it no longer affects you as it once did.

This does not mean those times are forgotten or memory-holed.

You may always have a scar from it, just like a healed flesh wound scars. But you are functionally healed, and it no longer impacts your daily life.

You are free to move on.

As I do this work, all the heaviness and sadness lift, and I am liberated.

The memories still live in me, but the lead weights of the attachments to those emotions—the feelings of injustice, the anger, and the bitterness—have all transmuted to light. My memory of this time becomes more and more like a distant dream.

As I healed, I naturally began opening up to doing my divine purposeful work. It’s become a natural and obvious progression.

Except now I can do the work without the emotional baggage wearing me down.

Winning is continuing to move forward through the process to the place where you have the result. Then you keep moving forward from that place, and you do your life’s work.

The quality and nature of life unfold when you dive into this most sacred and special place that is opened, invoked, when we are on purpose.

There can be no more rewarding worldly work than doing your life’s work on purpose.

Touch this place and let it guide you.

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